Too Early to Decide,Too Late to Change
by deviantartist43
Summary: AU. He is more than willing to see his best friend wedded
1. Chapter 1

_Their friendship is comparable to a satin ribbon- beautiful, smooth and delicate. Yet, one small tear will cause its ruin. One small imperfection will tear it apart._

The sky is like an artist's palette at this time. The setting sun is truly a marvelous sight to see- gradual change from light to dark. Small jewels begin to appear in the night sky and soon, moonlight will dominate the celestial space. There are two figures occupy a wide field facing the lake. How calm everything may seem, there is a grave emotional turmoil within.

As they stayed in silence, the tension grew far worse. He knew his best friend will tell him something important because he was unceremoniously dragged out of his room towards the clearing- the place where they always met- a place that could call as theirs. Getting tired of standing and waiting, Shishido Ryou sat down and leaned against an aging tree. He hid his impatience and tried to wait till his best friend is ready to confide. He had this nagging feeling that this is an important matter and he should wait. Being the observant self today, he noticed that Ohtori Choutarou looks like a stiff pole, and once someone tried to poke him, he might just end up lying on the ground, unmoving. Shishido then decided to just wait till he is ready, any moment soon; Ohtori will surely tell him what he has in mind.

Ohtori did not know how he will break the news to his best friend. It was rather an unexpected turn of events. It was like his life experienced a three hundred sixty degree turn when he heard the news. He was expecting this but he did not expect it was this soon. He was fidgeting and was unusually nervous in front of his best friend. He was twisting the hem of his coat unconsciously; releasing and tightening- a pattern he was involuntarily following. He got tired of this and just decided to end his painful dilemma. He sat down beside his friend and tried to take deep breaths to relax his already tensed shoulders and muddled mind. Ohtori looked at the lake like it held the answer he was looking for. He sighed and told his best friend the reason of his nervous state.

"Ryou, I am getting married in a few months" Ohtori told him and he sounded like he already submitted his freedom to this bond proposed by his parents.

Shishido did not say anything. Instead he stiffened in a moment and he just closed his eyes to check whether this is all a dream. But when he opened his eyes again he saw the same lake, the same sky and the same Choutarou who confessed his upcoming nuptial to an unknown woman. He remained silent indicating his friend to go on and tell him the details about the wedding.

"I did not meet the girl till this afternoon. She was the daughter of my father's colleague and soon to be heiress of their own family business. This arrangement is more of like a business arrangement rather than a ceremony one could consider. I don't know when will the wedding be but I guess next month will be the most favorable date because it is also her birthday" Ohtori continued. Ohtori tried to be as neutral as possible, trying to hide that he was not comfortable with the arrangement. He should be since it arranged marriage was one thing aristocracies are very fond of. Arranged marriages between two individuals will secure wealth of each family and will also allow them to expand their riches through the power and bond of it. Parents will force their innocent children into unknown circumstances which can later on result to unforeseen consequences. Ohtori being the good child he is, nodded his consent but still unable to contain himself during the meeting with the girl, after an awkward shake of hands and trade of simple smiles, he excused himself and made a run to his best friend's house. For Pete's sake, he did not even remember the girl's name.

Shishido remained silent and looked as if he was calculating the things he will say. He looked at the lake and marveled at the sight of the stars and moon reflected on the surface. He smiled a little to show his appreciation to the beauty of nature and he looked to Ohtori and said "Choutarou, we are not getting younger. Sooner or later we are going to fulfill the obligations passed onto us. Being the ones who can carry the family name and heritage, marriage is one thing we cannot miss- the only thing our _parents_ cannot miss. Sometimes we just have to sacrifice our own dreams to fulfill our responsibilities and meet the expectations of our clan. I find it rather unfortunate for you since you have to go through this first before me. And I also find it rather insulting, since I am the older one here" He laughed a little to show the sarcasm that dripped in his words.

Ohtori quirked his lips a little in response to the supposedly joke of his friend. But he was really devastated and disappointed at the same time. He is devastated because he is not ready for this type of commitment. It is rather huge and permanent for him. He did not know his fiancée and know nothing about married life. He is not ready to let go of his youth- no matter how reckless and carefree his life was- he is just not ready. He is not ready to let go of the things he have now. He is not ready to give up his life- life that looked so simple and realistically happy. He is just not ready to part away from the company of his best friend. He is also disappointed because he did not expect the answer given by his best friend. He was expecting of an outburst or a violent reaction from Shishido or any excuse he can give so that he can postpone the wedding. But all he received was a lecture regarding family obligation and responsibilities. It seemed that Shishido was supporting this idea of marriage. This is somewhat new to him, uncharacteristically Shishido.

"Nevertheless, married life will not hinder our friendship right? We will still be best friends no matter what" Shishido added a few moments later, assuring him that nothing will change despite the big step Ohtori will be taking. Ohtori smiled and nodded- comforted by the fact that his best friend intends to be there despite the circumstances. No matter how sincere his words are, he is still feeling unsatisfied.

They sat for a few moments, trying to find the security within each other's company. They try to build the ever familiar comfort with one another. And soon, their silence is no longer awkward; instead, the silence signified the reassurance that the other is there for support and dependence.

Shishido stood up indicating that it is time to go home, he unconsciously extended his hand to help Ohtori up but Ohtori did not even look at his hand. "You go ahead Ryou, I think my sudden escape from the meeting earlier is not welcomed by my parents. I'll stay here for awhile and let the time pass till I'm sure I can go back to my room safely. Thank you for being here Ryou. I really appreciated it, you've been very supportive. Just like old times." Ohtori said while looking at the lake. Shishido look mildly surprised but just shrugged it off. He patted Ohtori's head as a sign of his farewell and slowly walked away. Before leaving completely, he looked back and saw Ohtori still watching the lake. Unknown to the young man, sadness and relief was mirrored in the older man's face. Shishido just looked down at the ground and smiled sadly before he left his friend in the clearing.

Once sure he is alone, Ohtori succumbed to his devastation. He tucked his knees to his chest and buried his head in between. He never expected this sudden turn of events. The reason he stormed out of the room was because of unwarranted and surprising emotions that stirred within him. Knowing the fact that he was giving his freedom away and the fact that he is tying himself to another being he does not know, he was not really fond of the idea of being with a foreign company except his best friend. No matter how he denied that it was wrong and surely the norms will never tell him that it was appropriate, he had been harboring some strange feelings towards his best friend- feelings hat trudge a very dangerous line that can severely destroy their carefully laid friendship. These feelings are not accepted normally by common people. And individuals of his standing will surely look down on him; worse, his parent's might disown him due to these emotions. He chose to ignore and bury these feelings deep inside him. He denied every emotion that comes close to it. He never acknowledged anything about it- he just thought that it was just a phase, a sudden admiration and loyalty to his friend. He kept this to himself and told no one. But no matter how hard he tried, he always ends up thinking about his best friend.

He sighed and decided to look back at the lake. He doesn't understand why his vision is blurry- unclear. A wet and unfamiliar object ran down his cheek leaving a trail and insignia of his kept and unacknowledged sadness.

For the first time, Choutarou Ohtori accepted the glaring fact that he is indeed in love with his best friend. Unfortunately for him, he cannot take this back.

The walk back home seemed lonelier than usual. Shishido unconsciously took the right turns and streets before he got home. Once in the sanctuary and protection of his own room, he gently closed the door and went outside to the balcony to further contemplate of the news he received. He sat down to one of the chairs placed and leaned back staring blankly ahead. He is really expecting this but not this soon. He knew if given the chance, he will be facing the same fate- he will be also forced to be wedded to someone he barely know. Just like his best friend, he is rich, true; they own a family business that can support half of the town. He is handsome, or rather beautiful since he has strong facial features but is neutralized by his long brown hair. With his rash and brusque personality, women of his age find him alluring and interesting. He got everything a man of his time would ever want. But he isn't satisfied with his life- that is if ever he will be having more of it. Despite the material wealth he has, he isn't happy. He is diagnosed of having lung cancer and was told by their family doctor that he will be living no longer than a month. Such fate he has. Life offers too many opportunities to him that he is willing to take but life itself is almost quitting on him.

He was gripping on the bars of his balcony due to his disappointment and anger. He really wants to spend more time living, he is enjoying life- he is enjoying it with his best friend. But fate chose to be cruel, on the peak of their friendship, his life took a turn that forever changed his life. He thought that during the winter, it was one of the common colds and coughs one acquire. But it seemed no longer normal when he started feeling painful jabs in his chest and started coughing out blood. He was hysterical and so were his parents. They consulted specialists and doctors right away. At first he was recommended to take medicines but when these capsules did take effect, he went into further medication and supervision of doctors. This continued hidden in the public eye since Ryou Shishido did not wish for pathetic attempts of people to wish him well. Furthermore, he did not want to worry his best friend. The ordeal went on until the doctor declared that it his ailment is incurable and he has little time left to live. Shishido was really shocked. He was not ready for this, he knew he is sick but he did not expect that he was dying. At first he was in denial, he did not accept such judgment and persuaded his parents to ask for a second opinion. But as all of the physicians reviewed his status they all came up of the same conclusion. He was left with no choice but to accept his condition. All of his plans were thrown out of the window and his future was readily forgotten. All he remembered and worried about is how is he going to tell his best friend about this. He was planning to tell him right away but he is not really fond of the idea of Ohtori being worried and saddened. He really cared to the other boy and he is fully aware of these intense feelings he had for Choutarou but decided against of telling him these feelings; in the fear of scaring him away and the fact that he is dying. His unfaltering decision was it was unnecessary for Choutarou to know about this unacknowledged feelings and his current state. Furthermore, he decided that no one else aside from his family will know his health conditions. As long as he can keep this, he will; hell will break loose when someone outside the family knew about his state.

Once he knew about the wedding arrangement of Choutarou he was quite at peace, at least he is assured that once he is gone his best friend is in the good hands of his unknown wife. If not in good hands, he is rest assured that Choutarou will never be alone. Furthermore, he knew Choutarou will be quite busy and occupied within the upcoming days so he can easily part and detach himself from him. He is not ready to say goodbye, yet he wants to take this simple opportunity to divert Choutarou's attention from him to his wife so that he can quietly exit the scene and leave in silence. Still no matter how relieved he was, no matter how everything seemed to be in his convenience, he cannot hide the fact that he is saddened since he is not sure if he will get a chance to witness the big leap his best friend will be taking. And it is really heartbreaking for him because if ever he is given a chance to see Choutarou wedded, he don't know if he really can take the sight.

He is attached to his best friend far more than what he expected so that is the reason why he plans to gradually separate to lessen the pain he will feel and inflict once he is truly gone. No matter what he does, he cannot escape death at this time. No matter how clever the plan is, he cannot solve what is ahead of him because it is the end- the final moment of his material life. He just submits himself to fate. Unfortunately for him, he cannot do anything but accept death with open arms.

Spending the entire night outside is really a bad idea. Chills went up and down his body giving him a painful time staying up. He clutched his chest and he began to feel weak. He was breathing hard and sweat began to form in his forehead despite the fact that he was feeling really cold in the inside. Due to excessive pain he is feeling he cannot help but scream in pain. He was holding onto the railings for support but his knees are already weakened and cannot hold his weight. Soon, he was kneeling and he began coughing and painful jabs are felt. He covered his mouth as he coughed some more and he felt hot liquid in his hands and he began to taste bitterness of blood. Indeed, the evidence is on his hands, blood covering his palms and dripping down his arm and dropping down to the floor. Not long enough, he feels dizzy and nauseated. He is not able to hold on longer onto the steel railings for support, altogether, he fell down to the floor almost unconscious. But before he fully submits to darkness he heard his mother and some of the servants screaming and panicking. He was then cradled in his mother's arms and then, he succumbs to sleep- not knowing whether he will ever wake up again.


	2. Chapter 2

_The chain that bound us was strong but not strong enough to escape the rusting that will later on cause the slow deterioration of our friendship… the gradual separation of our lives._

Seeing the first rays of the sun, Ryou was not sure whether he will be thankful or not because of the chance of experiencing another day. He did not know how he ended in his bed but he is taking a good guess that a fair number of the servants of his house carried him over his bed while his mother nursed him till the wee hours of the morning. Speaking of his mother, he looked at his side and saw the tired and tear-stricken face of his mother. Despite the attempt to fit in the chair, she was able to sleep. He reached out for her hand but stopped midway; he cannot help but feel guilty over her pitiful state. These are one of the rare moments where he wants to restore his health back to life and be able to fulfill his responsibilities as the next head of the Shishido clan, to be able to meet everyone's expectation, lead all business ventures of his family and continually live his life. But fate was not a friend of his, he is left with no choice but wait for the final moment. It is not easy at first because of the deep fear he felt and the time he have to keep a straight face and a strong façade to cover his illness but as time passed by, he learned to accept his situation and he began to prepare for his death. _Death_, he thought_._ It never struck fear anymore, because he is much more familiar with the pain of his sickness rather than the temporary relief of his numerous medications. His pain comes with the expectation of death, and as early as now he wants to familiarize himself with it so that he will no longer add burden to his agony.

He looked at his bedroom's window, wondering whether time will permit him to see this wondrous sight tomorrow. His morning reflection led Ryou to think about the things he has to do before he reaches his hand out to the arms of death. The family is able to adjust all their future plans regarding the situation and was able to strategically keep the nearing death of Ryou. To circumvent the attention of the public eye, he tried to immerse himself in the family business just like what he **should** normally do. He has no problems with it and was thankful for all the support and encouragement they are trying to give him. Seeing that he was not raising suspicion and questions, he decided to continue until he feels all work load taking its toll. He continued to attend public gatherings, "try" to meet the ladies of other prominent families as if he is looking for a wife. Fortunately for him, the people around were not able to detect the anything peculiar in his behavior. His act was so convincing that sometimes he ends up believing that he is altogether well. Even Choutarou was not able to feel his distress and fatigue. _Choutarou…_

Remembering yesterday's event just confused him more. He should be really thankful since he will be assured that his best friend has a future, a future with a woman who is taught to dutifully follow his husband and remain loyal despite the circumstances. It is not an easy feat if it were his situation but it is better, a better way to distract Choutarou from him, to slowly divert his attention to his wife and to gradually detach himself from his best friend. He really doesn't like the idea of leaving Choutarou in the dark. In fact, he planned to tell his illness to him first but decided against it because knowing the caring nature of Choutarou, he will readily leave everything behind just to spend his remaining hours with him. He does not want that, he wants his best friend to lead a life without him. It is true that they have been friends since they were little, but he knew his feelings towards his best friend are bordering a dangerous line- a feeling that should be kept inside and locked there till the end. And it will not help him in his preparation when he knew Choutarou will be there till his final day. It will cause him to want a longer life, a life with his friends and family, a life to spend with the presence of his best friend. But for his own convenience and benefit, he tries to leave everyone out. It will make his death easier if he was alone, detached from everything else.

He decided that his musings will get him nowhere and he tried to get out of his bed. He is really tired despite the all night sleep. It seems that his sickness is taking a step ahead. He walked slowly towards his dresser, feeling slightly light headed. His mother being a light sleeper woke up alarmed and tried to hold Ryou and support him. Ryou looked at him and gave her a sad smile and just continue to proceed to his dresser, detaching his arm from the caring hands of his mother. He did not attempt to tell her he is well and he can carry himself just fine. His illness is not a thing to be worried over. They had been discussing and arguing that his death is inevitable and they should let him spend it wisely even though it is not advisable for someone who sick.

Buttoning his black vest over his white shirt, he straightened the invisible creases and tied his shoes. He combed his hair without bothering to look at the gold-framed mirror and finished it with his usual high-ponytail style. Deciding that he is ready for the day's work, he returned to his mother who seemed to be watching him the whole time. He did not try to talk because he knew his mother is nearing to tears and is in deep sorrow.

He looked at his mother and tried to tell her with one look that he is indeed fine after his late-night cough attack. He led her to the master's bedroom urging her to rest and let him handle the work and responsibilities for the day. He kissed her forehead as a sign of his goodbye and slowly closed the door. What he didn't notice, were the lone tears that fell from her face.

Just as he reached the end of their grand staircase, one of the servants approached him,

"Sir, Atobe-san is in the garden waiting for you. He is informed by your mother last night about your sudden break out. He wishes to see you."

Frowning with the morning news, he does not want being fussed over due to his condition. But he has to face Atobe because he does not want to deal with his persistence and dramatics this early in the morning. Proceeding to the double doors that lead to the garden, he saw Atobe standing on the bridge facing the landscape garden. His family was never fond of flowers and just kept various kinds of foliage to shade and to cool the area. He listened to the running water flowing from the man-made river. He was impressed by how realistic the set-up of the "river" was, smooth stones and pebbles were scattered along the path of the river and clear water was running against the rocks. He really enjoyed standing at the bridge, watching his reflection in the water and listening to its soothing music. He approached the bridge, stopping before Keigo. Keigo have this far away look that almost resembled worry and concern but he is just trying his luck, knowing Keigo being the most cynical person he knew. He did not dare to speak because he knew the moment he walked out of the door, Keigo already sensed his presence.

Without looking back, Atobe asked "How are you?"

Ryou gave an equal indifference in the matter "Fine"

Silence reign them; no one tried to break the stillness of the moment. They just stood there as if there has been an understanding of what is happening and words are not needed at the moment. Keigo Atobe has been a friend of his since childhood. Keigo, Ryou and Choutarou almost grew like brothers. But when they entered their teenage years, Keigo has been assigned to handle the family business and was not able to join them in their usual escapades. But that did not stop them from being friends; frequent visits were done and both family and public gatherings were their ways of communication. And Ryou was surprised with himself that he told Keigo about his illness instead of Choutarou. He was sure enough that he will not tell a soul about it. Even though there is a mutual attestation of slight hate between the two, they have enough respect to one another and value to their friendship to become good comrades.

Keigo studied Ryou in his peripheral vision and saw that despite the layers of clothing, he cannot help but notice that he lost weight and the weakening stature of his body. Keigo being a keen observe knew all along the feelings of Choutarou and Ryou to one another and decided that it is their business and he should not stick his nose to their situation. But upon knowing Ryou's situation, he cannot help but drop hints to urge him to confide his condition to Choutarou. He knew Choutarou will be deeply hurt being left out in the dark and he will surely blame himself for not spending enough time with Ryou.

"Have you decided to tell him about this?" Atobe asked.

"No." a flat answer from Ryou.

"Considering the frequency of you break outs, I can tell you don't have much time, Ryou. Do you really plan to keep him out of this? I think he has the right to know, considering he is your best friend."

"I don't have any intention to. And he is getting married, anyway. We don't want to distract him from that, do we?"

"I see, the agreement was carried out after-all. I advise that you should think about this carefully Ryou. Let him help you, even though it is painful. Think of him after you are gone. He will be the one that will be affected the most. Ple-"

"He has a wife by that time, he no longer needs me and I should not burden him with such trivial matter. It is better without him knowing." Ryou interrupted. He gripped the railings of the bridge which he never knew he was holding at.

Despite the sudden outburst of Ryou, Atobe looked at him calmly and unafraid of infuriating Ryou further, "You are really stubborn and heartless, planning of letting him know when you are dead, don't you? Your death is not a trivial matter, especially to him. I am quite doubtful to myself now because I cannot convince you to do otherwise."

"Why do you make it sound that I am a very important person to him? My mind is made-up. He does not have to know."

_You are really dense aren't you? _Keigo thought in frustration. "Then I hope you take a second look Ryou, you might not see things the first time. And when you do, I hope you will reconsider."

"What are you talking about?"

"Pardon me sir; Ohtori-san is here to see you."

Keigo and Ryou looked at the door to see Choutarou standing beside an unknown woman.

"Keigo-san, Ryou, this is Wakahisa Aiko, my fiancé."


	3. Chapter 3

A broken vase can be mended but the trace of the break will always be there. A fallen blossom will and always be a fallen blossom.

Both were surprised but they did not show it. Feeling the slight tension in the air and the stiffening of his companion, Keigo led Ryou to greet the visitors. Placing a slight force at his back the two approached Choutarou and Aiko.

Ryou took the liberty to walk slowly. He looked carefully at the girl and setting his bias aside, she is beautiful. Oval-face framed by a long onyx mane. If someone looked closely, she is blessed with amethyst eyes that will surely sparkle like gems when she stands out in the sun. She is attractive and poised, just like how all elite girls are trained. But she cannot hide the fact that she is shy because when Keigo kissed her hand, Aiko hid her flushed face. Ryou cannot help but feel amused to the girlish nature of Aiko and the flamboyant upbringing of Keigo. He stopped himself from rolling his eyes.

"Nice meeting you Wakahisa-san." Ryou said while wearing a small smile while reaching his hand out for a handshake.

"The pleasure is all mine, Shishido-san. And please call me Aiko. I don't want to stand in the formal end of my future husband's best friend." Aiko answered while delicately reaching his hand.

Trying not to flinch at the mention of husband, Ryou replied "Then please call me Ryou, Aiko-san."

Choutarou and Keigo were watching the exchange. Choutarou looking expectant of his best friend's approval to Aiko since Ryou's comment does matter- greatly. Keigo on the other hand is very much aware of the critical eye Ryou is giving Aiko and cannot help but feel sorry for the girl. He just remained quiet and observant of what is happening in front of him.

The group remained silent; Aiko feeling uncomfortable with the foreign stares of her comrades instinctively went to Choutarou's side to seek comfort. Choutarou not used to the presence of the girl's actions, was slightly taken aback and was unsure of what to do. Ryou's eyebrows cannot help but twitch, he is starting to feel irritated and somewhat possessive. Keigo was very amused of what was happening. If he could just read their minds, that will be a whole lot better. Putting aside his personal entertainment, he decided to help the trio with their dilemma. Someone has to break the ice and make each other feel welcome. The girl has been only introduced yesterday and he knows that it takes a great effort to make your fiancé's friends comfortable. Feeling generous, Keigo offered an idea- it may not be great but still it is an idea.

"Why don't we go to my house and spend the morning in the company of one another? A small picnic perhaps?" Keigo offered his best "host" smile. Ryou knowing workings of Keigo's mind looked at him darkly.

"That is a nice offer, Atobe-san" Aiko smiled expectantly to Choutarou.

Choutarou being the good natured lad, decided to allow this small gathering. Establishment of camaraderie is one thing that should be done. And small and private gatherings such as this are the best way to attain that.

"Then I take it as a yes. Ryou, you don't mind handling the transportation from here to our estate?" Keigo looked at Ryou with a slight warning of behaving himself throughout the whole morning. If Ryou can act as hard headed as he can be regarding his illness then he can do the same. If he wants deviate Choutarou's attention, then he can start now.

Ryou silently nodded and excused himself to call his personal coach-driver. Leaving them behind, Keigo, Choutarou and Aiko led themselves to the front porch. Not taking any longer, the carriage came. The door opened and Aiko took a seat opposite to Ryou. Choutarou followed his fiancé and instinctively decided to take the seat beside Ryou. Ryou gave him a pointed look and he was brought back to reality. Adjusting his position, he sat beside Aiko. Keigo not missing a thing about what happened just shook his head with all the possible things that might happen once they reached his estate.

The ride was silent. Ryou was especially thankful that the trip was also short. He just kept a neutral face and try not to act rashly especially Keigo observing his every move. He has to stick with his decision of pushing Choutarou away. He is doing what is right and even so, he cannot help but feel hurt and emotionally drained since he is hiding all of his internal turmoil. He is just thankful that Keigo knows his condition. Even though he tries to act unaffected about it, he knows he can count on him anytime.

The Atobe estate is as flamboyant as its owner. There is an unnecessarily large garden with well-tended roses and a large fountain with crystalline water flowing greeted the guests. The large wooden doors opened and the butler came out to greet the visitors.

"Please prepare a simple meal for my guest at the back gazebo." Keigo ordered nonchalantly. "Please treat this place as one of your own." Keigo told the group. "Choutarou please accompany me to the library, I have a few musical pieces bought from France that you might be interested with. We will follow you shortly, this will not take long. Ryou, I expect you know the way to the gazebo. Please lead Aiko-san there." Keigo told them- more like it posed as an order. It is a gift to have this commanding presence, even your friends cannot deny you of your "requests".

Without wasting another moment, Keigo took his lead towards the library, Choutarou trailing behind. Ryou quite unsure of what to do looked at Aiko and asked her "Are you ready?" Aiko just nodded her head and followed Ryou to the opposite direction.

The walk was quiet until Aiko decided to break the silence.

"Ryou-san, how long have you known Choutarou? I didn't have the chance to talk to him since our first meeting was something you wouldn't expect. I'm afraid that he already told you about this matter."

Ryou cannot help but smirk at her comment "Choutarou is really the shy type isn't he? I just cannot imagine that he is this timid to run away." Ryou looked at her if she is offended or not. Confirming that she is not through her smile at his comment, he proceeded.

"Since we were kids, together with Keigo, he is the usually quiet boy who opts to sit in the corner and watch everyone from afar. Considering having Keigo and I as his friends, I really cannot comprehend sometimes how he managed to stay solemn and calm.."

"Seems like you had years fro friendship behind you. No wonder he is very eager to introduce me to you. And I think you are right about being the shy type, he was really embarrassed about what he did yesterday. And came to our house earlier to apologize and make it up to me by introducing his best friend."

"I hope you are not disappointed Aiko-san. And please do forgive me about my behavior earlier. I was not really expecting this encounter soon. Tell me, how do you find Choutarou so far?"

"I really cannot answer that question properly Ryou-san. I haven't had the chance to get to know him for reasons you already know. But I think he is sensitive enough to know that he offends someone and considerate enough to offer his apologies in the sincerest way." Aiko smiled.

"Ryou-san, I hope you don't mind telling me your experiences with Choutarou. I think I am approaching the right person for this matter. You are his best friend after-all, no secrets and no doubts about everything."

Ryou expected this; she has to know something about his future _husband. _And who is he to deny her request. "Choutarou as you've observed is a shy boy. It took a lot of encouragement from me for him to treat me as his friend rather than his senpai, since I am a year older than him. He eventually dropped formalities and we were the same ever since. Choutarou is more of the neutralizer in the group, Keigo and I being our usual selves as rash and loud. He is more of the shock absorber whenever Keigo and I have this silly argument. But when Keigo started to manage their businesses, it is just me and Choutarou. From that time on, I began to discover Choutarou's whole being deeper. He is not just the mere shock absorber or the usual timid boy you'll see. You might even see him as a person with no spine, but he is always underestimated like that. Someone might say that I'm always the one who protects him but in reality it is the other way around. He is there silent, assuring you that he will support you in anyway he can. His company and loyalty is hard earned but when you gain his trust you will be rest assured that he is with you all the way. It is really an added bonus to anyone who is able to hear him play. I was really lucky to see him fumble when his father handed him his first violin and eventually evolve to a very talented musician. He also plays the piano and Keigo spoils him with different pieces when he arrives back from his business trips. And I am really grateful to hear him play the pieces for the first time until he reaches the point of perfecting it. He sometimes criticizes his ability to play, but I keep on encouraging him to do it again until the doubt is washed over by his pride and confidence. You should ask him sometime to play, Aiko-san. My words do his talents no justice."

"It seems that you almost grew together, Ryou-san. I sure will ask him to play, once I have the chance to, that is." Aiko smiled. "From what you told me Ryou-san, he seems a very interesting person."

"He really is, be patient with him. Choutarou is not a person to be dealt with speed. It might take time but I can assure you it's all worth it. He is really worth it."

"I see, Ryou-san. Choutarou is really lucky to have you as someone who he can trust. Your relationship with Choutarou seems overwhelming. I hope I can gain the same trust."

"You make it sound like a competition Aiko-san. You are approaching him the other way. I will always be his friend and you will always be his significant half. We are different persons in his life Aiko-san. You don't have to worry about that though, with what I'm seeing now; I know you'll easily obtain his trust." Ryou smiled reassuringly.

"Thank you very much, Ryou-san. A confidence boost is what I really need right now. Thank you again." Aiko bowed his head to show her gratitude.

"You don't have to be thankful, I didn't do anything. Just be a good wife to Choutarou and he will return the same kindness you show him, even more. I'm spotting the gazebo over there but it seems we are the first ones to reach the place. I think Choutarou enjoyed himself with the pieces- immersed in his music world _again._" Ryou had this distant look that Aiko didn't attempt to distract him anyhow. She felt that even though Ryou assured him of Choutarou's eventual acceptance, there is still a line that she cannot cross. A relationship tested through time is much stronger than a relationship bounded by law.

Keigo handed Choutarou a folder filled with French pieces. Choutarou browsed through the folder and was amused by the foreign words dancing through the paper. The delicate pattern of notes creates the smooth symphony it represents. Keigo really knows what pieces to choose. But setting his musical preferences aside, without lifting his head, he confirmed with Keigo,

"I believe, there is something else you want to talk about Keigo. Ryou and Aiko can accompany us anyway. "

"You have been hanging with Ryou for so long. His insolence is already rubbing on you. A simple thank you will suffice, Choutarou." Keigo smirked when he saw the flushed cheeks of Choutarou.

"I'm sorry Keigo, but I am grateful with such rare gifts."

"As you were saying earlier, it is true. I have some matters that I would like to discuss with you, alone. I heard that you just met Aiko-san yesterday. And it was rather an unsightly event to watch since you fled once you knew you were engaged with her. I cannot blame you since this rather surprising for your part. But I hope you just dealt it with more maturity and thought, Choutarou. From time to time, it does not hurt to be less selfish. There is already another party involved."

"Keigo, I am greatly distressed with what I have now. I really cannot fathom the idea of getting married in a few months time. I am still in a confused state. Moreover, I am getting married ahead of you and Ryou."

"I will choose to ignore your last comment Choutarou. These are matters that you should expect especially to people of your caliber. We don't have a choice because our marriage will serve as a seal to business contracts. And it seems that you are not really confused. You are level headed, Choutarou, and these instances are not something for you to be surprised at. I think you are more of not ready to let go of things you enjoy right now."

Choutarou remained silent which Keigo took as his consent to continue.

"We are getting old Choutarou. We just have to learn to prioritize and let go of things that we shouldn't be holding onto anymore. Your approval of this arrangement means that you are willing to also accept everything that comes with it. The responsibilities and expectations you must face. It is no easy feat, I know. But you should be prepared of what is ahead. Prepared to let go of things you have now and prepared to accept other things that will come your way. Nothing is permanent in this life. Everything is fleeting.."

"Keigo, I don't really understand what you are talking about. It looks like you want me to turn my back to you and Ryou. You are my friends, the symbol of my youth and my life that I once led; I will never bring myself to forget that. I will never bring myself to let go…"

"To let go of Ryou, you mean?"

Choutarou shot his head up and made no attempt to counter his question. "Am I that obvious, Keigo?"

Taking advantage of the situation, "I think it does not stop there, right Choutarou?"

Choutarou just bowed his head to hide his face.

"You don't have to hide, you know that. Don't worry about it, I knew it for sometime now."  
"I hope you'll never despise me as your friend."

"I am not that shallow. I know what you feel runs deep, Choutarou. Deeper than what you thought. It takes for more than just mere comprehension to understand what you really feel. But, as I have said earlier, your acceptance of this marriage will most likely revert your senses back to reality. It is really up to you whether you want to fulfill your duties as the heir and next head of your family."

"I made him promise… to not to forget. Everything will be the same just like before even after my marriage. We will still be best friends."

"How sure are you of this?"

"It's Ryou we are talking about. When it comes to loyalty and trust, I know he will never fail me."

"I see. Always remember this Choutarou; we just only destroy ourselves when we try to hold on to something that is meant to leave."

"What do you mean by-"

"Master Keigo, the meal is prepared. Sir Ryou and Miss Aiko are already there."

"Then, let's go Choutarou. We should not keep them waiting."

Second time that day, Keigo was salvaged from explaining to them the things that isn't worth discussing since why do you have to point out things that is blatantly obvious? _What have I done in my past life to be accompanied by dense people?_

The meal was fine. Nothing too extravagant (by Atobe's standard) and nothing to complicated. Aiko seemed to loosen up somehow. And Choutarou and Keigo have Ryou to be thankful for. They both wondered what he has done to make her feel at ease. And it seems that she is more determined in getting to know Choutarou. Time flew by and the small picnic is almost over.

Ryou is feeling some disturbing pain in his chest- _not again, _he thought. He is pleading to all the deities up above to hold this attack for just a few minutes. Just enough time to address Choutarou and Aiko good bye. He knows Keigo is more than willing to offer him shelter for the night. He just has to survive the remaining time before they bid good bye.

Keigo feeling the discomfort of Ryou looked at him calmly, trying to convey his questions through one look. And Ryou responded a rather distressed looked which sent warning signals to Keigo to do something. Ryou is now having a coughing fit. And it sounds like uncontrollable, beyond the repair of just drinking water. Choutarou is eyeing Ryou with concerned eyes. He approached Ryou and tried to soothe him by gently rubbing his back. In ordinary times, this would have been comforting and relieving.

Ryou continued to cough until the not so foreign taste of blood lingers his mouth. He tried to cover his mouth tight and tried to remain conscious so as not to raise any hint regarding his condition. Keigo eyed Ryou warily and tried the best that he could to ease the situation. He led Aiko to the receiving area telling her to look at the new painting collection of the family which was recently bought in France. Aiko giving Ryou and Choutarou a worried glance approached them with concerned –filled eyes.

"I'm fine Aiko-san, I will just stay here for a while." Ryou managed to answer Aiko's concern. Then he looked at Choutarou who never left his side.

"Go ahead, Choutarou. You don't want to miss the new paintings Keigo bought from France."

"I'm sure Keigo will generously offer another time for me to see those paintings. Aiko, I will meet you in the receiving area. I will accompany Ryou here to make sure that he is alright."

_Stubborn as always, _Ryou thought, he tried to wash down the taste of blood and gulped large amount of water to push the pain aside, even for just a few minutes. He has to get this pretention over with. He has too, he does not know for how long but it needs to be fast.

"I'm fine Choutarou; let's accompany them to the receiving area where the carriage awaits." Ryou said while standing up. If one looks closely, one can see how much tension and pressure he is putting in his arms. He tried to walk slowly making it look like he is enjoying the view, but the truth is, he cannot manage to walk fast because he is dizzy. To make things more normal, he placed his arms around Choutarou's shoulder and tried to mess his hair.

"You silly brat, worrying over nothing!" Ryou said while giving off a casual laugh. He noticed that Choutarou is still worried and concerned whether he is fine or not.

"You don't have to worry, I am fine." Ryou gave him his reassuring look which earned him a smile from Choutarou.

The paintings are a truly marvelous sight, and Keigo did not waste anytime in explaining the paintings he just invited them there to distract everyone from Ryou. The carriage is there after a few minutes. While Aiko is riding the carriage, Choutarou gave Ryou a questioning look.

"Are you not coming with us, Ryou?"

"You go ahead, I will be staying here for the rest of the day since I have nothing to do at home. I decided to skip what I have to do at work and just resume tomorrow."

"I see. See you tomorrow then."

"Yes, see you tomorrow Choutarou."

The doors of the carriage closed. Keigo and Ryou are waving goodbye.

"I nearly thought Choutarou will know all about your illness, Ryou."  
"I'm telling you, not in this lifetime."

The carriage began to move, moving towards the entrance of the estate.

Ryou cannot hold it any longer and began his coughing fit again. Keigo held him by the shoulders for support but it seems not enough. They both fell onto the marbled floor. Ryou continued coughing until blood was trickling down his chin. Keigo was shouting for help and soon faces where surrounding them. None of them he knew, most of which where servants of the house. But there was one face that was mortified and stricken with fear, a face he knew so well… Choutarou.


	4. Chapter 4

_He is nothing more than a mere reflection in the water, once touched you'll realize that he is intangible, imaginary, and almost non-existent._

It happened all too fast. He was watching them waving goodbye. And as the carriage neared the gate, he saw him fall. If it were not of Keigo's support he might have hit the ground. Choutarou felt his blood run cold. He froze, but Aiko's scream woke him from his reverie. Choutarou looked once again and heard Keigo shout out for help- for the first time, Keigo seemed nervous and scared. Choutarou opened the carriage doors, and ran, ran towards him as he was swarmed by the servants trying to come to his aid. Choutarou kept on running, felt as if he was not nearing him at all. His lungs burn. He knew something was wrong but he chose to ignore it. Believing him everything was fine. How stupid… he was his best friend. He should know him inside-out and there has been a sixth sense inside Choutarou especially made for him- for Ryou ONLY. Finally, he reached his side and knelt down, Ryou looked at him and then he finally fell unconscious and unmoving.

Choutarou stared at the limp body and noticed the trail of blood in his chin. He began to reach for it, trying to decipher whether this is true and he is not just merely dreaming. Just a few centimeters away, almost scared to touch and feel Ryou's blood. As the tips of his finger felt the thick liquid, he cannot help but look at Keigo to search for answers to his questions. Keigo just looked back for a brief moment and tried to check Ryou's breathing and heart beat. As the in-house doctors came, Keigo let go and he have to drag Choutarou away because he was too stupefied by what happened, by what he saw. The doctors instructed to transfer Ryou inside the house to be properly examined.

The carriage returned, and Aiko went down and directly went to Choutarou's side. Choutarou did not bother to look at her. He was staring at the opened doors, hoping that Ryou will come out and tell everyone that it was one big stunt. He still does not know what is really happening but he is giving his instincts some credit that it is something is seriously wrong with him. He does not like to ask anyone what happened. He is not ready to face such confrontation.

"Atobe-san, what happened?" Aiko asked out of pure concern.

Keigo remained silent, his lips tensing, forming a thin line. A very rare response from Keigo since he always have to say something in everything. Keigo then looked at them, he seemed composed and unaffected after what happened but Choutarou knew better- he is trying to hide his anxiety and he is hiding something from him. Keigo left without saying a word, almost like dismissing their presence. Choutarou looked at Aiko who is confused and continuously ignored.

"Aiko-san, I am deeply sorry for I cannot accompany you home. Please take the carriage and I'll see you when I can… I hope you understand."

"… I do. Please tell me if there is anything that I can do to help, Choutarou. "

"Thank you, Aiko-san"

Choutarou guided her inside the carriage and waited until the carriage is out of sight. He then guided himself to Keigo's room where he knew he will be. The walk towards Keigo's room should be amusing because of all the expensive and exotic artifacts displayed along the way but he cannot bring himself to enjoy because there are far greater things that he is thinking about. There are so many questions that lingers his mind but he does not know where to start. He is not even sure whether he wants to start.

Not bothering to knock, Choutarou opened the door and found Keigo looking outside the window. Choutarou walked towards Keigo. Keigo, not bothering to look at him just continued staring outside- he seemed to be avoiding this conversation. Choutarou raised his hand and firmly placed it in Keigo's shoulder.

"Keigo, what is wrong with him?"

Keigo slowly looked at him.

"It is a matter that I shouldn't be the one discussing with you; I am not in the right position to disclose such delicate matter."

"Then you know what is wrong with him then?"

Silence answered him.

"How come you know?"

"He is trying to protect you, Choutarou."

"Protect me from what?"

_From all the possible agony you'll experience once you knew he is dying._

Sensing that is hopeless to push things further.

"Where is he?" Choutarou asked.

"I'll accompany you."

They proceeded to the room where the doctors are tending Ryou. He was stripped off his clothes and replaced by one of the more comfortable sleep wear. Choutarou hurriedly went to the bedside while Keigo instructed the doctors to discuss the diagnosis with him- outside the room. If Choutarou will ever find this out, he wants it to come directly from Ryou and not through the scientific blabber of the medics.

Choutarou never saw him this pale before. Ryou was never this sick. What happened to him? How come he never noticed this? He sat down on the bed carefully. Taking Ryou's hands and massaging it unconsciously. He then reached out to brush a stray hair from his face and his hand lingered in his cheek long enough. He can feel the steady but heavy breathing of Ryou. He silently watched him sleep, hoping for him to wake up soon. His questions can wait; all he wanted now was for him to wake up.

Keigo watched the silent scene. Finally closing the door, he cannot help but feel worried with the progress of Ryou's condition. He is not getting any better. The doctors advised that the medications will only ease the pain and not to miraculously cure him. There is no way out for Ryou this time. His attacks were more frequent. He is thinking how Ryou's body will handle all these pressure and fatigue. He has to stop his pretention and just concentrate more on resting and giving his body the much needed care. He has to stop this game, before it is all over.

Choutarou felt Ryou's fingers moving. He did not notice that he fell asleep while holding his hand the whole time. He straightened himself and waited for Ryou to open his eyes. Ryou stirred, reached for his head to rub off the pain he is feeling. He then opened his eyes, blinking for a few times- adjusting his vision. Ryou realized that he was not alone and someone was watching his every move. He looked at his side and caught the worried eyes of Choutarou. He was surprised and worried at the same time. He cannot escape this time. He has to say something… or anything. But what is the use of keeping it now when Choutarou already saw everything. His unconscious state, cough outbreak and he is quite sure that he also saw him coughing blood. He cannot tell him of that it is just because of the changing weather. He is feeling that Choutarou already knew that what is happening to him is already serious and something to be bothered with. He waited for Choutarou to ask him but it seems the other party is also waiting for him to speak first. But he decided to just stay silent until Choutarou goes first.

"Are you alright now, Ryou?"

He just nodded his head slowly, taking his time to answer him. If this will prolong this confrontation then, so be it.

Choutarou noticing that Ryou is being his hard-headed self, he sighed and just tried his luck to ask him outright.

"Are you sick Ryou?"

Ryou closed his eyes because this is his dreaded moment. He don't want to see Choutarou's reaction when he is about to tell him that he doesn't have much time to live. HE doesn't want to tell him this in the first place. IF there is anyway to avoid then he'll gladly take that course.

"Yes"

Choutarou's silence suggested him to continue. He does not want to but he has to. Choutarou is looking at him intently, urging him to enlighten him about his condition.

"I have been recently diagnosed with lung problems by the doctors. At first they thought it was due to the cold weather and unpredictable snow storms we experienced last winter but when I coughed out blood they confirmed their speculations that it is something more than the normal winter cough and sickness. They prescribed medications which at first helped me. But I knew I am not getting any better until the doctors told me that I…" Ryou cannot bring himself to continue. But these are the moments that he has to be brave. Face reality and firmly hold on to his resolve that he already accepted death as natural occurrence in life. His hands tightened in the sheets. He can do this, he is GOING to do this.

"I don't have much time to live, Choutarou." Ryou said outright. He lowered his head s that his hair will cover his face, to save him from seeing whatever emotion reflected on Choutarou's face. He did not realize that Choutarou was holding his hand the whole time. He just felt the tight hold right after his revelation. He looked up and immediate regretted it because there are trail of tears in Choutarou's face. His lips are forming a straight line- an indication that he is upset and absolutely distressed. Choutarou is fighting his tears back but he cannot hold it any longer.

"Why did you keep this from me?" Choutarou said almost close to a whisper.

"I was going to tell you but in the end I decided not to. I don't want you to bear this burden. I don't want you to worry."

"What? I am your best friend Ryou. I am supposed to help you. I WANT to help you. Why are you shunning me out?"

Ryou cannot hold it anymore. This is what he is avoiding in the first place, Choutarou's involvement. He is removing all reasons why he wants to live. He is slowly detaching himself from his family, he is closing himself to his acquaintances and he is turning his back to Choutarou. If he will be leaving permanently, then he wants to do it silently with no memories of how his life has been happily spent. It will make everything easier, much less…painful.

Ryou did not notice that he was crying too. Silent tears trickled down his cheek. He did not cry when the doctors told him that he will die, he did not shed a tear when he has his outbreaks and he did not weep when his family mourned over his fate. He did not expect this; all his preparation and resolve just easily vanished in the air.

"If I'm going to die then I want to do it silently. I don't want to bring everyone down with me. If it is going to hurt them then I better do it on my own."

"It will hurt us more because we know we cannot do anything to change your fate's course but at least don't completely carry this burden alone. Don't shun us out. Let ME share the burden you are carrying. Please…"

Choutarou was closed to begging. He cannot restrain himself from embracing Ryou tightly. He is crying and trying to engrave this feeling in his mind. He stroke the silky hair, the hair that he much wants to touch and feel. He cannot believe the circumstances- here he is, embracing Ryou but cannot really enjoy the moment because he is comforting and afraid. Ironic isn't it?

"It is a bad thing already that I did not sense anything peculiar from you the past months. Let me make it up to you, Ryou. Please let me spend time with you, I am really a horrible friend."

Ryou cannot help but shake his head.

"You are not horrible and you are not obligated to make things up to me because there is nothing to be worried over. I tried to keep this away from you in the first place. And I am not expecting anything… not expecting anything."

"You cannot stop me, and you know it."

"You don't have to do this. I don't want you to do this. Subjecting yourself in accompanying me. I was able to do it alone before and I can do it now."

"There is no way I am changing my mind."

"Don't forget you have Aiko-san now. Don't ignore her. You should be spending more time with her than laboring yourself in accompanying my."

"You are far more important, Ryou." _I am not leaving you because I love you._

"You have obligations that have to be fulfilled. You cannot just turn your back from your responsibilities." _It hurts so much for you to be beside me, I want you to live without me._

"Yes I do have obligations and what matters now is fulfilling my obligations to myself." …o_bligations to my heart._

Ryou did not argue with him anymore, it will be a futile attempt. He just decided to relish the moment. He decided to be selfish just for the time being. Letting Choutarou comfort him endlessly, letting him feel a few good moments of his ending life. He closed his eyes and just let everything take its flow.

Choutarou slowly moved back to take a view of Ryou. Sensing his distress and submission to his death, he cannot help but feel the same way. Tears are fighting its way back to Choutarou's eyes. Choutarou closed his eyes and let them flow freely. He gently kissed Ryou's forehead, not knowing exactly what he has done. He is just following his instincts and it seems doing that will lift their downtrodden spirits. He again embraced Ryou, this time cradling him in his chest. Choutarou don't want to let go because he is afraid that if he did, he might not get another chance to do this again.

"You are not alone Ryou. I am here."

They stayed in silence. One is hoping this is only a dream and the other is hoping that this dream will never end.


	5. Chapter 5

_If I could only close my eyes and ignore everything I would. But turning my back on you is like denying myself to breathe. _

Keigo cannot help but feel saddened by the events that unfold in front of him. He watched silently at the small opening of the door, not intending to eavesdrop. He felt Ryou's succumb to his fate and Choutarou's fruitless support. How can they ease the pain when one has already given up and the other is in denial of things getting worse? He just left the door as it is so as not to disturb the people inside. He silently walked away, stuffed his hands in his pockets. He wondered whether tomorrow will be a better day, but there is no denying that he is hoping it will be.

Ryou decided that he will stay in his home, take a break from everything considering that he had two outbreaks within 24 hours, which is not and will never be a good sign. He was accompanied to his home and the servants of the house came to his aid upon his return. Keigo did promise that he will drop by later that day because he has to attend to his responsibilities and pending business matters. What bothers him right now is how he will avoid Choutarou especially now he knows. He has no way out now, and just face the consequences of his actions yesterday. Just yesterday, he developed a fear, a fear that he faithfully fought and challenged before. He feared sleep because he is not assured whether he will wake up or not. He never felt this before, just…yesterday. His resolve easily crumbled down as he saw Choutarou's tears trickled down his cheek. He never thought that Choutarou will be this affected once he knew and considering he is the last one to know.

Physically, mentally and emotionally tired, he tried to give his eyes a well-deserve rest. Adjusting his self to slumber, there was a faint knock on the door. The maid entered the room. She was timid and she was twisting her apron- he does not know whether it is out of shyness or just plain nervousness.

"Sir, Ohtori-san is here and so is Wakahisa-san."

He frowned at the maid, he clearly told Choutarou to keep this a secret he does not need outsiders to know that he is sick and dying, for Pete's sake. He was agitated- an unreasonable feeling at this moment. Choutarou entered the room with his hand behind his head, an indication that he is deeply sorry. He was followed by Aiko who first peeked at the door before fully inviting herself inside the room. She noticed that from the timid entrance of Choutarou, he quickly moved to Ryou's side forgetting that he was accompanied by his fiancé. She fully understands that and she should empathize considering that Ryou is sick. She walked slowly towards Ryou as if she is trying not to disturb anyone. She is afraid that she will break something that is so rare. She cannot lay a finger on it but at this moment, she feels that she is designated in a place that she does not belong to. She stood beside Choutarou.

"How are you Ryou-san?"

Ryou looked at her and smiled, "I'm fine. Thank you Aiko-san." "I hope you are feeling better." "Yes, I am. You don't have to worry about it Aiko-san"

After the exchange of pleasantries, Aiko went around the room and decided to settle at the small study table just beside the terrace and a bookshelf with considerable collection of books and periodicals. She signaled Ryou whether she can browse through the books and Ryou just gave her a nod signifying to go on. She settled at the chair facing them and busied herself reading a random book.

Ryou gave Choutarou a look that sent all his questions to him. Choutarou knowing that Ryou is disturbed because he tagged Aiko along, just rubbed the back of his head.

In a soft whisper, "I'm sorry Ryou. Aiko kept on asking how you were. And I just cannot leave her alone today, so I decided to bring her along. I'm very sorry."

Ryou understanding the circumstances just nodded his head. He looked at Aiko for the mean time and saw her entranced with a book. He noticed that it was a book that he too enjoyed.

"Aiko-san, why don't you come here and sit with us?" Ryou called out. Choutarou smiled to further encourage the invitation.

Aiko stood up and walked slowly towards the bed. She does not know whether where to sit. She is an outsider. Sensing her hesitance, Ryou patted the bed to show her that she can sit beside him. She took the invitation gratefully and went directly beside Ryou.

"Are you enjoying the book?" Ryou asked Aiko.

"Yes, Ryou-san, a wondrous book about the adventures of a young boy. How I wish I could lead the same life- free and happy."

"I see, we have a liberated lady here." Ryou smiled. He has to give Aiko some credit for her courage to say what's in her mind.

"Not really liberated Ryou-san but more of aware. I'm just tired of following, fulfilling their dreams and wishes and not mine."

Choutarou looked at her. She seemed distressed as he is but she chose to remain silent about it. IT is one her remarkable traits- knowing the right time and place to speak her mind. She is truly insightful and reflective. In fact, she is a well-sought woman in high society but instead of delving into the attention she chose to remain at the sidelines, unnoticed.

"I am just tired, I don't know when will I retract from all of this. I am just dutifully following orders. It's the least that I can do despite all the sacrifices my parents made. I am just thankful that they chose Choutarou instead of any other man. I am just truly thankful."

Ryou looked at her fondly "Well, I can assure you that your parents are not mistaken. It is just that he is quite surprised of his engagement that he flew right out of the house."

Aiko covered her mouth because he cannot help but laugh at that.

"Ryou! That is truly embarrassing, you don't have to say that again…" Choutarou said his cheeks are red due to embarrassment. This made Aiko and Ryou laugh more.

"And don't forget how panicked you look when the news was told…" Another voice entered. All three looked around and saw Keigo entering the room. Keigo just smirked at them and comfortably went to their side and joined the on-going conversation. They spent the afternoon laughing and enjoying each others company, trying to make most out of the time. Barriers were and masks fell and time forgotten. Everything went out smoothly and great for all of them.

"My, my, time flew fast. Please accept my invitation and stay for dinner. I'll advise the servants to prepare the meal." Ryou said.

"How can we say no to an invitation that is never meant to be turned down?" Keigo retorted.

"If I know, you did enjoy the afternoon and have no plans on leaving the house right away." Ryou answered back. Aiko and Choutarou just smiled to the bickering individuals in front of them.

Keigo headed to the door first and Aiko followed. Midway to the door, Aiko looked back and saw Choutarou assisting Ryou out of the bed. She saw how careful Choutarou was as if Ryou will break once mishandled. Once Ryou was at his feet, Choutarou protectively placed his arm on Ryou's waist and offered his hand for Ryou to hold onto. Ryou automatically accepted the help and both of them walked in synch. Choutarou's steps are much smaller to avoid bumping into Ryou's wobbly legs. A strand of hair fell into Ryou's face and Choutarou reached for it and gently tucked it in Ryou's ears. Ryou just smirked while Choutarou smiled. Noticing that someone was watching them both looked up and saw Aiko looking at them innocently. She just smiled and continued to walk normally. Keigo was waiting for them outside the room and accompanied Aiko in going down to the dining hall.

Once assured that they are at a safe distance, Aiko looked at Keigo. Noticing that Aiko is staring at him, he looked back. He smirked again and raised a delicate brow.

"Atobe-san, they are really good friends, aren't they?"

Keigo nodded his head and said "Yes they are. They have been through thick and thin supporting each other till the end. You can rarely find a really good friend like those two."

"I see. They are truly lucky to have one another and they are lucky to have you too."

Keigo just smiled at that. "You are a perceptive person, Aiko-san. I will not be surprised if you are able to read more than the book provides."

They just continued to walk towards the hallway while the other two are following them in a much slower pace. As they reached the dining hall, Choutarou helped Ryou at the end of the dining table while he settled himself at his right. Keigo took the chair at Ryou's left while Aiko settled beside Choutarou. They ate their dinner while they continued the merry chatter. Everything was pleasant and well.

Ryou hated peas while Choutarou hated carrots. And unfortunately for the two, there was a side dish served with peas and carrots. Ryou started selecting the peas while Choutarou set aside the carrots. Once done both scooped a generous helping of the hated vegetables and dumped them to each other's plate. Keigo cannot help but sigh in frustration.

"You both are acting like kids."

"At least we are looking for ways for us not to waste our food, not like you" Ryou retorted back.

"I eat vegetables perfectly fine." Keigo defended.

Aiko couldn't help but laugh heartily because of their childish antics. The three of them looked at her and joined in the laughter. It was truly a pleasant sight. But time does not allow these instances to last forever.

As they are at the receiving area waiting for their carriages, they are preparing themselves for their flight. Keigo excused himself for the moment and went outside to attend to the contents of his carriage first. As the carriage where Choutarou and Aiko came, they bid their farewell. Choutarou not leaving Ryou's side just yet, listened to what Aiko has to say.

"Ryou-san, is it alright for you to go out already?"

"Why is that?"

"We are holding a small tea party in the afternoon, all of my friends and Choutarou's friends are invited. I was hoping you can come." Aiko offered a shy smile.

"I will be most honored. Expect me tomorrow, Aiko-san. Thank you for your generous invitation"

"That is nothing Ryou-san. And thank you for an enjoyable day. I hope this will be also the setting tomorrow. Have a good night."

"Same to you Aiko-san, same to you"

Aiko went out. And Choutarou looked at Ryou. He does not want to say goodbye but he has to. Someone is waiting for him outside while the other is urging him to go. As Choutarou was ready to go he turned back and hugged Ryou gently. Ryou was slightly taken aback and restrained himself not to hug back. Instead he reached for Choutarou's head and messed his hair. This made them both laugh and smile.

"You have to go, Aiko-san is waiting for you."

"I will see you tomorrow, then."

"I don't know whether I can come."

"Then, I'll just come here."

"You don't have too. You should be at the gathering."

"You know I'll follow you everywhere."

Ryou smiled at that, "Not really everywhere."

Choutarou looked down and smiled sadly, "Why do you have to go somewhere, where I cannot follow?"

Ryou didn't answer at that. He just stood there unmoving.

They are in their own little world again- where nothing matters, just the two of them. Both didn't notice, two pairs of eyes saw this little exchange of endearment. Keigo just shook his head and reminded himself to warn Ryou of his actions. Aiko on the other hand, first time saw this kind of set of actions. She should be scandalized or disgusted but she something more than the physical contact of two boys hugging. She saw true love and understanding between the two, she saw how synch their actions are—and that was one of the most beautiful things she saw.

She cannot understand herself; she does not know why she is in pain. Maybe, she is jealous. But that is not really an option at the moment. She does not have anything special towards Choutarou. Infatuation? Maybe. But nothing greater than that. Maybe she is in pain because she can see how much love there is and they cannot do anything to nurture it to something more. Constrained by expectations, restrained by social norms and hindered by obligations. She cannot help but feel sorry…sorry for what? For herself? Or for them? No matter, the circumstances they are in right now, is to painful to watch and debilitating to all of them. She left the two and gave them the privacy that they much deserve. If she has to call off the wedding, to save everyone from this anguish, then so be it.


End file.
